Stop Extending Yourself to People Who Dont Appreciate Your Time!
Over the years, I found myself being that friend you can always rely on: Whenever a friend and even acquaintance called, I was the one to pick you up. The message I conveyed was I was always the go-to person. `I was habitually altruistic. My rationale was if I could help others, I would. Everyone needs a little help from time to time. Me helping if I can serve as my good deed.
Recently I was asked to do a favor for a generation z person. This person was very close to me and expressed how stressed she was about looking for a job. So I used my connection and called up my former employer and asked if they were hiring. It is always good to build a relationship with your employer. My luck; my former boss said they were hiring. He informed me he might have a good candidate. He was willing to give my person a job interview. I coached this person on what to do, what to say. I told her to watch her mannerisms; be conscious of her body language. I went as far as to put my reputation on the line. My person got the job. The first day she was a no-show. Her boss reached out to me and stated this does not look good on both our ends. So I called her; she gave me a lame excuse. Three weeks later, I called to check up on her. She explained how she hated the job. She stated it was too much for her. She begins to make excuses and fuss about little things. It did not take a genius to figure out what was eventually coming. Long story short, a few days later, she walked into work and stated it was her last day! My former boss called and told me he was confused about the situation. Her boss and coworkers were puzzled as to why she would quit. They affirm she was not a bad worker. They were willing to accommodate her in exchange for her stay for the summer. How many jobs will work with you and make changes for you? I called her and tried to explain how she jeopardized my credibility and made me look bad. Her response was not what I expected. She replied I seem to only care about my reputation. I said to myself yes: I do! It was my reputation that got you the job! Then I went on to tell her I have nieces and nephews that I wanted to work here. You messed that up. I learned a valuable lesson. When people show you; their true intentions, believe it. It is cool to help people and want them to succeed and prosper, but they need to want to help themselves and do well for themself. What made me the person I am today is my hunger and drive. Nobody helped me out or hooked me up. It was hard. I felt a lot of bumps in the road. Those bumps made me appreciate a lot of things.
Over the years, I repeatedly found myself going above and beyond for people. It's a slap in the face when that love and energy just isn't interchanged. It leaves you hurt, and it is also exhausting. My philosophy has always been to treat people the way you would like to be treated. As you get older, you will realize not everyone lives by this philosophy. What I learned was to use your discretion wisely when going out of your way for others. Not everyone shares the same value and ethics. People are taught different and are accountable for different things.
This experience was an eye-opener. A lesson learned, always remember: I am my longest commitment. Stop extending myself to ungrateful people who will not reciprocate that love back. I can not please everyone. I pledge to protect my peace at all costs. Extending myself to people is taking from my happiness and fulfillment. You can genuinely want the best for people. It is their job to put the work in and go hard for what they want.